rinnia: (darkness)
Alex Smith ([personal profile] rinnia) wrote2012-11-06 03:21 pm

A post of woe and whining.

- So, we moved! Not very far, only about a 45 minute drive, but still. Moving sucks. Ugh. At least it's because Jaime found a job, so now we're both safely away from the horror that is academia. I kind of hate the town we moved to, but that's just because it's not Chicago big and/or interesting. It's really no worse than where we were before. I... yeah. Yeah, that's about it.

- I guess I'm getting married? Jaime and I have been together for over eight years, so it's not like anything's really changing, but... I dunno. We're getting married so I can get health insurance. It kinda sucks. I figured when I did get married it'd be... something. And I was always planning to take his name, but now that it's actually happening, I'm torn. I don't want to go through all the hassle of changing all my official stuff when nothing else is changing. No ceremony, no engagement, no real proposal even. Reality sucks, is the point here, I suppose. I know everyone says this, but I'm planning on only getting married once, and for it to happen with such little fanfare and in relative isolation and for such a mundane, practical reason... damnit. Just. Just damnit.

- I'm hormonal and I forgot to take my meds last night so my brain is a mushed up mess of profanity and nerves and I can't stop crying. Aasdlkfjpaoweijfasdlkfj-

[identity profile] carolinecrane.livejournal.com 2012-11-06 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
:cries with you:

That does suck, bb. It doesn't matter what the circumstances or that it's practical; you love the guy and you planned to spend your life with him, sure, but you still deserve the big party and for it to feel like something big. Because it is. And I'm sorry you ended up moving somewhere less than awesome. I know what that's like, and it doesn't help make you happy, that's for sure.

[identity profile] rinnia.livejournal.com 2012-11-07 02:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks. *hugs* I'm thinking I'm going to keep my last name for now - if we're getting married for practicality, then I'm going to keep things practical. When I change my name... that's when we'll celebrate. And yeah, location's not exactly great, but at least there's hope we'll move somewhere awesome after this. *sigh* Not exactly ideal, but I'll survive, of course.

[identity profile] ruggerdavey.livejournal.com 2012-11-07 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I wish I could send some of my current happiness your way.

Also, I'm sorry the wedding's not all you want it to be, but just because this is for practical reasons doesn't mean you can't make it special. My sister (American) and her husband (French) live in London (UK). With the various countries of origin and residency, they knew it would make their lives SOOOO much easier to be married. They want to get married in France, but to do that legally is a massive pain, and marriage in England is super expensive. When they were home this summer, they went into the town hall and saw it was just 40 bucks to get married, but they were leaving in about 10 days. We took a week to plan the ceremony - a little thing, immediate family, a party at my sister's afterwards. Despite all that, it was lovely and special.

So just because you're doing it now for practical reasons doesn't mean you can't make something small but special of it. And you can always do the big thing later - that's what my sister is planning on doing at some point.

[identity profile] rinnia.livejournal.com 2012-11-07 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs* Just knowing my friends are happy makes me happier. :)

Unfortunately, there's literally no way to even have our immediate families at a ceremony - it really will be just me and him. I'm definitely planning to do a big thing later, though; that's a really good idea.

[identity profile] ruggerdavey.livejournal.com 2012-11-08 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
I'm definitely planning to do a big thing later, though; that's a really good idea.

For sure. Follow the examples of a lot of other countries - I mean, in France, the legal marriage process is a whole separate thing from the wedding that you have. We're just so used to them being the same thing here in the states, but they certainly don't have to be.