rinnia: (darkness)
- So, we moved! Not very far, only about a 45 minute drive, but still. Moving sucks. Ugh. At least it's because Jaime found a job, so now we're both safely away from the horror that is academia. I kind of hate the town we moved to, but that's just because it's not Chicago big and/or interesting. It's really no worse than where we were before. I... yeah. Yeah, that's about it.

- I guess I'm getting married? Jaime and I have been together for over eight years, so it's not like anything's really changing, but... I dunno. We're getting married so I can get health insurance. It kinda sucks. I figured when I did get married it'd be... something. And I was always planning to take his name, but now that it's actually happening, I'm torn. I don't want to go through all the hassle of changing all my official stuff when nothing else is changing. No ceremony, no engagement, no real proposal even. Reality sucks, is the point here, I suppose. I know everyone says this, but I'm planning on only getting married once, and for it to happen with such little fanfare and in relative isolation and for such a mundane, practical reason... damnit. Just. Just damnit.

- I'm hormonal and I forgot to take my meds last night so my brain is a mushed up mess of profanity and nerves and I can't stop crying. Aasdlkfjpaoweijfasdlkfj-
rinnia: (darkness)
Had a phone conversation with my mom where she talked about missing me and then started crying, and my craft blog got hacked. I'm not sure whether I should actively try to turn this day around or just scrap it and go back to bed.
rinnia: (darkness)
Had a phone conversation with my mom where she talked about missing me and then started crying, and my craft blog got hacked. I'm not sure whether I should actively try to turn this day around or just scrap it and go back to bed.
rinnia: (what is this i don't even)
For some reason, 4am felt like the right time to get up and do my homework that's not due until Wednesday. The upshot of this is that I'm done. With my last class. For my Masters. So potentially my last class ever. And since I (for reasons long and varied and multiple and somewhat ludicrous) resigned from my PhD lab and program, this could very well really be my last class ever.

I might be done with academia.

Whoa. I feel weird.
rinnia: (what is this i don't even)
For some reason, 4am felt like the right time to get up and do my homework that's not due until Wednesday. The upshot of this is that I'm done. With my last class. For my Masters. So potentially my last class ever. And since I (for reasons long and varied and multiple and somewhat ludicrous) resigned from my PhD lab and program, this could very well really be my last class ever.

I might be done with academia.

Whoa. I feel weird.
rinnia: (hurt)
I've been rewatching Buffy with Jaime - his first time through the series - and we just finished The Gift. And god, it still makes me cry. I've watched it dozens of times (because even though it guts me, I adore it), and without fail, I cry. Every. Time.

Anyone else have something like that? Some episode or movie or song that can always manage to rip your heart out, even though you know exactly what you're in for?

I think my record holder is Romeo+Juliet, which I was obsessed with during middle school. I watched it 29 times before I made it through the end without crying. Seriously; I counted.
rinnia: (hurt)
I've been rewatching Buffy with Jaime - his first time through the series - and we just finished The Gift. And god, it still makes me cry. I've watched it dozens of times (because even though it guts me, I adore it), and without fail, I cry. Every. Time.

Anyone else have something like that? Some episode or movie or song that can always manage to rip your heart out, even though you know exactly what you're in for?

I think my record holder is Romeo+Juliet, which I was obsessed with during middle school. I watched it 29 times before I made it through the end without crying. Seriously; I counted.
rinnia: (...)
So my step-sister is apparently addicted to pain pills and doing heroin. Huh.
rinnia: (...)
So my step-sister is apparently addicted to pain pills and doing heroin. Huh.
rinnia: (hurt)
My mood has been so up and down in the past two days. Jeez. I only want to mention one bit of the sad - RIP Ryan Dunn - and then focus on the happy, because damnit! Happy!

- I discovered an amazing blog over the weekend: Wave at the Bus. The 170 days are magical.

- Discovered another amazing blog as well: Mich L. in L.A.. I've already ordered one of her pieces, made my own versions of another (which I will post pictures of once I'm not sleepwalking through the day), and have plans to tackle yet one more. Good, good crafty blog.

- It wasn't enough that Nendoroid Snow Miku exists for me to pine after. No, they had to announce a Pullip version of her as well. Damn you, world!

- Any of you guys play Rockstar games? I'm eh on GTA but in love with L.A. Noire, and I'm wondering if Red Dead Redemption would be worth the investment.

- I'm torn between three different stories for my [livejournal.com profile] originalbigbang, all surreal, but in very different ways. Do I go with the humor, the horror, or the in-between?

Okay, backing up a bit to the sad. We're marathoning the Jackass movies. The golf cart sketch in the first one got a little uncomfortable, and I choked up during the butt x-ray, of all things, but still. We're on the second film, and I'm on my second beer. It only seems appropriate. To you, Mr. Dunn. You were right; it is cacti.
rinnia: (hurt)
My mood has been so up and down in the past two days. Jeez. I only want to mention one bit of the sad - RIP Ryan Dunn - and then focus on the happy, because damnit! Happy!

- I discovered an amazing blog over the weekend: Wave at the Bus. The 170 days are magical.

- Discovered another amazing blog as well: Mich L. in L.A.. I've already ordered one of her pieces, made my own versions of another (which I will post pictures of once I'm not sleepwalking through the day), and have plans to tackle yet one more. Good, good crafty blog.

- It wasn't enough that Nendoroid Snow Miku exists for me to pine after. No, they had to announce a Pullip version of her as well. Damn you, world!

- Any of you guys play Rockstar games? I'm eh on GTA but in love with L.A. Noire, and I'm wondering if Red Dead Redemption would be worth the investment.

- I'm torn between three different stories for my [livejournal.com profile] originalbigbang, all surreal, but in very different ways. Do I go with the humor, the horror, or the in-between?

Okay, backing up a bit to the sad. We're marathoning the Jackass movies. The golf cart sketch in the first one got a little uncomfortable, and I choked up during the butt x-ray, of all things, but still. We're on the second film, and I'm on my second beer. It only seems appropriate. To you, Mr. Dunn. You were right; it is cacti.
rinnia: (wince)
Madeline and Caroline - I have a scarf and shot glasses for you, respectively. E-mail or PM me shipping addresses, please?

Anyone else whose name ends with "line"? I'm sure I can figure out something to make for you.

As a side note, anyone have any advice for a girl who isn't on disability but feels like maybe she should be? A... uh... friend of mine... has a job that she's struggling just to show up for and she's not sure what to do. She has a long history of anxiety, depression, and PTSD, and she thinks she's in the middle of a major depressive episode, including having issues falling asleep before 4am but also randomly shutting down, just completely crashing, and sleeping during the middle of the day. She really doesn't want to work anymore; she wants to focus on not feeling so goddamn horrible all the time. But she needs the money. What do, flist. What do.
rinnia: (wince)
Madeline and Caroline - I have a scarf and shot glasses for you, respectively. E-mail or PM me shipping addresses, please?

Anyone else whose name ends with "line"? I'm sure I can figure out something to make for you.

As a side note, anyone have any advice for a girl who isn't on disability but feels like maybe she should be? A... uh... friend of mine... has a job that she's struggling just to show up for and she's not sure what to do. She has a long history of anxiety, depression, and PTSD, and she thinks she's in the middle of a major depressive episode, including having issues falling asleep before 4am but also randomly shutting down, just completely crashing, and sleeping during the middle of the day. She really doesn't want to work anymore; she wants to focus on not feeling so goddamn horrible all the time. But she needs the money. What do, flist. What do.
rinnia: (pain)
I just found out one of my friends from high school died in the tsunami in Japan. I lost a few friends when Derek and I broke up and Monty and his brother Ian were among them. It always kind of gnawed at me that I wasn't on good terms with those two - I liked them. I got along with them. They were good guys; I had hoped that we could reconcile and at least be on speaking terms someday. Now... shit.

Rest in peace, Monty.
rinnia: (pain)
I just found out one of my friends from high school died in the tsunami in Japan. I lost a few friends when Derek and I broke up and Monty and his brother Ian were among them. It always kind of gnawed at me that I wasn't on good terms with those two - I liked them. I got along with them. They were good guys; I had hoped that we could reconcile and at least be on speaking terms someday. Now... shit.

Rest in peace, Monty.
rinnia: (dun look at me plz)
Oh. My god. It has been too long, my friends. Allow me to explain:

- My great uncle died. He was the closest thing my mom had to a father, and though we knew it was coming, it still hurt. What made it even worse is that a bunch of "family" (i.e. bio-related and/or marriage-related, but jackasses I am not fond of) crawled out of the woodwork to steal, literally steal, his belongings. And I'm 99% sure one of them had a hand in his actual death. And some of them are ex-cons with past violent convictions. It's a big fucking mess. At least it's settling down now.

- The Japan trip is off. We'd kind of gotten to the point where we didn't think it was feasible for us both to go, but Jaime at least was going to bring me back a souvenir. Then the nuclear thing happened. What with Jaime being a cancer survivor and all, we got nervous about him going, especially since he gets a bunch of radiation from his check-up scans every few months. Long story short, he e-mailed, his advisor understood, and said advisor will present Jaime's paper for the conference so Jaime doesn't have to go. Whee!

- Being a TA sucks. The time. Yargh.

- Minor mental meltdown as a result of lab stresses. My advisor is the type to motivate with stress and doesn't seem to believe in positive reinforcement. Add that onto anxiety, depression, and a touch of Imposter Syndrome, and sometimes I just hit critical.

+ Second pup! We adopted Opal, a 1 year old hound mix, and she is soooo sweet and cute. Observe! )

BONUS - the reptile corner! )

BONUS BONUS - seen in a parking garage! )
rinnia: (dun look at me plz)
Oh. My god. It has been too long, my friends. Allow me to explain:

- My great uncle died. He was the closest thing my mom had to a father, and though we knew it was coming, it still hurt. What made it even worse is that a bunch of "family" (i.e. bio-related and/or marriage-related, but jackasses I am not fond of) crawled out of the woodwork to steal, literally steal, his belongings. And I'm 99% sure one of them had a hand in his actual death. And some of them are ex-cons with past violent convictions. It's a big fucking mess. At least it's settling down now.

- The Japan trip is off. We'd kind of gotten to the point where we didn't think it was feasible for us both to go, but Jaime at least was going to bring me back a souvenir. Then the nuclear thing happened. What with Jaime being a cancer survivor and all, we got nervous about him going, especially since he gets a bunch of radiation from his check-up scans every few months. Long story short, he e-mailed, his advisor understood, and said advisor will present Jaime's paper for the conference so Jaime doesn't have to go. Whee!

- Being a TA sucks. The time. Yargh.

- Minor mental meltdown as a result of lab stresses. My advisor is the type to motivate with stress and doesn't seem to believe in positive reinforcement. Add that onto anxiety, depression, and a touch of Imposter Syndrome, and sometimes I just hit critical.

+ Second pup! We adopted Opal, a 1 year old hound mix, and she is soooo sweet and cute. Observe! )

BONUS - the reptile corner! )

BONUS BONUS - seen in a parking garage! )
rinnia: (stitch&odie)
She passed away sometime during the night between yesterday and the day before. I found out yesterday afternoon. There is so much to say, and yet I have no words.
rinnia: (stitch&odie)
She passed away sometime during the night between yesterday and the day before. I found out yesterday afternoon. There is so much to say, and yet I have no words.
rinnia: (insomnia)
18th - PET scan at Moffitt, as Jaime's latest CT scan showed an enlarged lymph node in his neck.
19th - my grandfather's funeral, which I can't attend, because it's being held in Tennessee, where he spent the past two years with his new wife, instead of Florida, where his wife of 47 years is buried.
20th - orientation and class registration. After that's done, I need to send my schedule to my dad so he can maybe get me dental insurance for a month and I can get whatever's painfully wrong with my molar fixed, fill out the form to get my UF health insurance, and try not to freak out about not being as knowledgeable as I feel I should be to start research work.

Huh. Wonder why I can't sleep?

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rinnia: (Default)
Alex Smith

Currently

In: Florida
Watching: Regular Show
Listening to: Mumford & Sons
Reading: This Book is Full of Spiders
Playing: Ghost Trick
Tasting: mango coconut water
Wanting: lots and lots of thread
Working on: [community profile] fandom_stocking fic and art
Loving: O Pee Chee cards

- Dear Yuletide Author
- Fic Bingo Cards

November 2012

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