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it smells of pine
I am home once more! It sucked to leave Jaime, yes, but it's still kinda nice now that I'm actually here. The Christmas tree is huge and far too perfect to be real, yet it is. *sniffs* I love that scent.
Oh, some good quotes from my flight this morning on wonderful Southwest Airlines. The pilot liked to make jokes, it seems:
As the flight attendants prepare for the safety shpiel: "Alright, now if you could please direct your attention to these two goddesses of grace and beauty..."
"Your seatbelt is to be worn J.Lo style - tight and low across your hips."
"To unfasten it, simply lift the top. Things sure have changed since the Studebaker."
"In the very unlikely event that this flight becomes a cruise, your seat cushion doubles as a flotation device. If this were to occur, you would be welcome to take it as a complimentary gift from us to you."
"Should the cabin depressurize, immediately stop screaming, let go of the person next to you, and secure the oxygen mask on your head. If you are travelling with a small child, secure your own mask first before tending to theirs. If you're travelling with more than one small child, well... pick your favorite and work your way down."
"Even if it does not seem that oxygen is flowing, keep breathing, like so. *Darth Vader impression* Keep going, until a flight attendant instructs you otherwise, or you see the flight staff pointing at you and laughing hysterically."
"Federal law prohibits tampering with, disabling, or destroying the smoke detectors in the lavatories. The fine for this is $2000, and if you wanted to pay an extra $2000, you would've gone with United."
Near the end of the flight: "If we've brought a smile to your face today, that's payment enough. My ex-wife and the IRS took the rest of my things yesterday anyway."
Immediately following the landing: "Smooth as a baby's... well, you know the rest of this."
Immediately following the parking of the plane: "Alright, get out, go go go!"
So yeah, that was amusing. I like them. I think I shall go help Mom with dinner now, or cuddle the freets some more. Aaaaaaaand, I'm out.
Oh, some good quotes from my flight this morning on wonderful Southwest Airlines. The pilot liked to make jokes, it seems:
As the flight attendants prepare for the safety shpiel: "Alright, now if you could please direct your attention to these two goddesses of grace and beauty..."
"Your seatbelt is to be worn J.Lo style - tight and low across your hips."
"To unfasten it, simply lift the top. Things sure have changed since the Studebaker."
"In the very unlikely event that this flight becomes a cruise, your seat cushion doubles as a flotation device. If this were to occur, you would be welcome to take it as a complimentary gift from us to you."
"Should the cabin depressurize, immediately stop screaming, let go of the person next to you, and secure the oxygen mask on your head. If you are travelling with a small child, secure your own mask first before tending to theirs. If you're travelling with more than one small child, well... pick your favorite and work your way down."
"Even if it does not seem that oxygen is flowing, keep breathing, like so. *Darth Vader impression* Keep going, until a flight attendant instructs you otherwise, or you see the flight staff pointing at you and laughing hysterically."
"Federal law prohibits tampering with, disabling, or destroying the smoke detectors in the lavatories. The fine for this is $2000, and if you wanted to pay an extra $2000, you would've gone with United."
Near the end of the flight: "If we've brought a smile to your face today, that's payment enough. My ex-wife and the IRS took the rest of my things yesterday anyway."
Immediately following the landing: "Smooth as a baby's... well, you know the rest of this."
Immediately following the parking of the plane: "Alright, get out, go go go!"
So yeah, that was amusing. I like them. I think I shall go help Mom with dinner now, or cuddle the freets some more. Aaaaaaaand, I'm out.
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