General concern.

[rinnia]

I've been so paranoid lately. It started when I had my second panic attack in ACM95. That led to a multitude of minor attacks over the past week, most of which I've kept quiet about. I'm scared. It's all in my head. The doctor says I'm fine, the counsellor reminds me that panic attacks can't kill anyone, and Jaime tells me I have many years ahead of me.

Then why do I feel cold? Why does my face tingle? Why does my neck feel tight? Why does my chest hurt?

I know, I know, all in my head. All of these things are easily explainable by the attacks. But that doesn't change the fact that they scare me.

I should probably make this private, or friends-only, but who cares? Anyone who bothers to read this should know how I feel. I dread going to sleep every night, because I'm afraid I'll have another attack as I drift off, or that my heart will stop while I'm out. I can't relax because I don't feel normal, and I can't feel normal because I won't relax. It's a vicious cycle, and I'm so so sick of it, and scared of it.

Someone tell me it'll all go away and I'll feel the way I did two weeks ago. Someone tell me I'll be able to laugh without worrying the jolts will stop my heart. Someone tell me I'll be able to look at the world and not see static over every light surface.

Someone?

Comments

[self-shading.livejournal.com]

I've been having chest pains and weird heart stuff for a while now.
Freaked the fucking shit outah me when it first started happening. I was seriously worried that I might not see the end of the week; like I might end up just slumping over with a stopped heart or something.
That was over a year ago and I get the symptoms far less now and less severe.

So...yeah, I know it's an incredibly fuckin' scary and unsettling feeling, but if the doctor types say you're going to be alright then you're probably going to ba alright.

[rinnia.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :) It's good to know I'm not alone in this stuff, and it's good to know that you're surviving everything alright.

[shinji-no-kaze.livejournal.com]

IT WILL ALL GO AWAY AND YOU WILL FEEL THE WAY YOU DID TWO WEEKS AGO. YOU WILL BE ABLE TH LAUGH WITHOUT WORRYING THE JOLTS WILL STOP YOUR HEART. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO LOOK AT THE WORLD AND NOT SEE STATIC OVER EVERY LIGHT SURFACE. YOU WILL BE FINE, TRUST IN THAT. and don't let the stresses of ANYTHING get to you, ANYTHING that makes you feel that way is not worth the time or pain. Trust Me.

*LOVES*