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Every time I close my eyes, I see my name in shining lights.
It's kind of amazing how, even when the universe seems to be out to reassure me and a lot of things are going just right, if my brain chemicals decide I'm not going to be happy, I'm not happy. And then, because things are going well, I feel bad about feeling bad despite my good fortune. It's a vicious cycle. Things go poorly, I get sad. Things go well, I get sad because I'm still sad. I'm on meds for my anxiety, but while they help with that, they don't begin to touch the depression. Ugh, I hate when I'm on a low. Good thing it'll be counterbalanced by some productive mania soon, I bet.
Anyway, as mentioned above, good things are happening! Allow me to outline them:
- Jaime's getting a subsidized student loan that will cover all our current non-student or medical debt.
- We both got iPhones! They are wicked. I am in love with "Cut the Rope". Cute, cute game.
- We're adopting another dog! Her name's Opal and we get her Friday evening. That one legitimately cheered me for a bit; I may have squeaked and jumped while waiting for Starbucks when I got the call.
- If I discount the horrid unevenness of the Kurt and Emma plotlines, Glee last night was actually pretty amazing. Santana just about broke my heart. Oh, and Puck/Lauren? Awesome. I'm still pulling for Puck/Kurt endgame, but Puck/Lauren is pretty good in my book. I can live most easily with that.
- On that fandom-y note, I'm 9700 words into my fic for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
kurt_disney. I think this is the longest thing I've ever written. It's kind of due tomorrow, and I'm nowhere near done, but I'm still proud of my progress.
- Jaime got me a gaw-juss coral necklace. It's not an exact match of my beloved Felicity one from when I was younger, but it's damn close and awfully nice on its own merits.
- I left off on the couples day of the video game meme. Which meeeans that I get to babble about my ship(s). Let's do that now, shall we?
The 30 Day Video Game Meme!
Day 07 - Favorite game couple
I think this is another one of those things that should surprise no one. OTP right here. Okay, you want specifics? You got 'em.
In many ways, Squall and Rinoa are perfect counterbalances to each other. She starts out as a girl with purpose but no skills; he's a boy with skills but no purpose. She's outgoing to a fault, while he's completely shut off. Rinoa needs someone to make her more practical, more grounded, and Squall needs someone to crack him open and show him that life is more than a series of tasks. They come into each other's lives at a critical point, when they're both hitting emotional crises and existence itself is in crisis as well. The evidence of their effects on each other is subtle at first - Rinoa stops taking so many thoughtless risks and cedes leadership to the more experienced, while Squall takes an interest in the motivations of his allies and leaves his dorm for interactions with others, however brief and reluctant.
When the threat level jumps, so does their relationship; Squall is forced to face that he is changing, has changed, and Rinoa is the main culprit. Rinoa wakes up to a more damaged but also more open Squall, and in return she starts thinking more and more about her actions, her role in the group and in the world, the consequences of her very cognizance. If left without Squall, she would've sealed herself away and Ultimecia would've gone unchecked to keep trying. On the other hand, if Squall was left without Rinoa, he wouldn't have the drive to do things just for the good of others. He wouldn't become the great leader he has the potential to be, and without that, who knows how the party would fare in the end. It's crucial both for their own selves and the success of the battle against Ultimecia that Squall and Rinoa find and have each other, and develop into the people they should be. They complete each other. I can't think of anything more lovely than that.
And since Squall/Rinoa was so utterly predictable from me, I'll also throw in these two:
Best bros for life! Seriously, I have a thing for friend-ships, and nobody does it better than these two. In a game where your relationships with other characters are almost entirely up to you, Yosuke is invariably cast as Souji's best friend. They're good teammates in battle - the leader and the well-rounded speedster - and out - the silent, serene type/deadpan snarker and his loud-mouthed sidekick. It doesn't hurt that Yosuke's social link plays like one of the girl's ones near the end. Or that he declares Souji special to him. Or that the fate of Inaba ultimately rests on Souji's ability to talk Yosuke down. Or that they're just plain cute together. Or that their elemental strengths are each other's starting weaknesses. I think Persona 4 wants you to ship them. There's just no other explanation.
All thirty days:
Day 01 - Your first video game.
Day 02 - Your favourite character.
Day 03 - A game that is underrated.
Day 04 - Your guilty pleasure game.
Day 05 - Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were).
Day 06 - Most annoying character.
Day 07 - Favourite game couple.
Day 08 - Best soundtrack.
Day 09 - Saddest game scene.
Day 10 - Best game play.
Day 11 - Gaming system of choice.
Day 12 - A game everyone should play.
Day 13 - A game you've played more than five times.
Day 14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper.
Day 15 - Post a screen shot from the game you're playing right now.
Day 16 - Game with the best cut scenes.
Day 17 - Favourite antagonist.
Day 18 - Favourite protagonist.
Day 19 - Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in.
Day 20 - Favourite genre.
Day 21 - Game with the best story.
Day 22 - A game sequel which disappointed you.
Day 23 - Game you think had the best graphics or art style.
Day 24 - Favourite classic game.
Day 25 - A game you plan on playing.
Day 26 - Best voice acting.
Day 27 - Most epic scene ever.
Day 28 - Favourite game developer.
Day 29 - A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving.
Day 30 - Your favourite game of all time.
Anyway, as mentioned above, good things are happening! Allow me to outline them:
- Jaime's getting a subsidized student loan that will cover all our current non-student or medical debt.
- We both got iPhones! They are wicked. I am in love with "Cut the Rope". Cute, cute game.
- We're adopting another dog! Her name's Opal and we get her Friday evening. That one legitimately cheered me for a bit; I may have squeaked and jumped while waiting for Starbucks when I got the call.
- If I discount the horrid unevenness of the Kurt and Emma plotlines, Glee last night was actually pretty amazing. Santana just about broke my heart. Oh, and Puck/Lauren? Awesome. I'm still pulling for Puck/Kurt endgame, but Puck/Lauren is pretty good in my book. I can live most easily with that.
- On that fandom-y note, I'm 9700 words into my fic for
kurt_disney. I think this is the longest thing I've ever written. It's kind of due tomorrow, and I'm nowhere near done, but I'm still proud of my progress.- Jaime got me a gaw-juss coral necklace. It's not an exact match of my beloved Felicity one from when I was younger, but it's damn close and awfully nice on its own merits.
- I left off on the couples day of the video game meme. Which meeeans that I get to babble about my ship(s). Let's do that now, shall we?
The 30 Day Video Game Meme!
Day 07 - Favorite game couple
I think this is another one of those things that should surprise no one. OTP right here. Okay, you want specifics? You got 'em.
In many ways, Squall and Rinoa are perfect counterbalances to each other. She starts out as a girl with purpose but no skills; he's a boy with skills but no purpose. She's outgoing to a fault, while he's completely shut off. Rinoa needs someone to make her more practical, more grounded, and Squall needs someone to crack him open and show him that life is more than a series of tasks. They come into each other's lives at a critical point, when they're both hitting emotional crises and existence itself is in crisis as well. The evidence of their effects on each other is subtle at first - Rinoa stops taking so many thoughtless risks and cedes leadership to the more experienced, while Squall takes an interest in the motivations of his allies and leaves his dorm for interactions with others, however brief and reluctant.
When the threat level jumps, so does their relationship; Squall is forced to face that he is changing, has changed, and Rinoa is the main culprit. Rinoa wakes up to a more damaged but also more open Squall, and in return she starts thinking more and more about her actions, her role in the group and in the world, the consequences of her very cognizance. If left without Squall, she would've sealed herself away and Ultimecia would've gone unchecked to keep trying. On the other hand, if Squall was left without Rinoa, he wouldn't have the drive to do things just for the good of others. He wouldn't become the great leader he has the potential to be, and without that, who knows how the party would fare in the end. It's crucial both for their own selves and the success of the battle against Ultimecia that Squall and Rinoa find and have each other, and develop into the people they should be. They complete each other. I can't think of anything more lovely than that.
And since Squall/Rinoa was so utterly predictable from me, I'll also throw in these two:
Best bros for life! Seriously, I have a thing for friend-ships, and nobody does it better than these two. In a game where your relationships with other characters are almost entirely up to you, Yosuke is invariably cast as Souji's best friend. They're good teammates in battle - the leader and the well-rounded speedster - and out - the silent, serene type/deadpan snarker and his loud-mouthed sidekick. It doesn't hurt that Yosuke's social link plays like one of the girl's ones near the end. Or that he declares Souji special to him. Or that the fate of Inaba ultimately rests on Souji's ability to talk Yosuke down. Or that they're just plain cute together. Or that their elemental strengths are each other's starting weaknesses. I think Persona 4 wants you to ship them. There's just no other explanation.
All thirty days:
Day 01 - Your first video game.
Day 02 - Your favourite character.
Day 03 - A game that is underrated.
Day 04 - Your guilty pleasure game.
Day 05 - Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were).
Day 06 - Most annoying character.
Day 07 - Favourite game couple.
Day 08 - Best soundtrack.
Day 09 - Saddest game scene.
Day 10 - Best game play.
Day 11 - Gaming system of choice.
Day 12 - A game everyone should play.
Day 13 - A game you've played more than five times.
Day 14 - Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper.
Day 15 - Post a screen shot from the game you're playing right now.
Day 16 - Game with the best cut scenes.
Day 17 - Favourite antagonist.
Day 18 - Favourite protagonist.
Day 19 - Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in.
Day 20 - Favourite genre.
Day 21 - Game with the best story.
Day 22 - A game sequel which disappointed you.
Day 23 - Game you think had the best graphics or art style.
Day 24 - Favourite classic game.
Day 25 - A game you plan on playing.
Day 26 - Best voice acting.
Day 27 - Most epic scene ever.
Day 28 - Favourite game developer.
Day 29 - A game you thought you wouldn't like, but ended up loving.
Day 30 - Your favourite game of all time.