inquiry and bloodlust

Home from the Thanksgiving trip, where the dogs had a ball with Zion and I chatted a surprising amount with Jaime's grandma, so I think it's time for ( my holiday wishlist! )

- So, we moved! Not very far, only about a 45 minute drive, but still. Moving sucks. Ugh. At least it's because Jaime found a job, so now we're both safely away from the horror that is academia. I kind of hate the town we moved to, but that's just because it's not Chicago big and/or interesting. It's really no worse than where we were before. I... yeah. Yeah, that's about it.

- I guess I'm getting married? Jaime and I have been together for over eight years, so it's not like anything's really changing, but... I dunno. We're getting married so I can get health insurance. It kinda sucks. I figured when I did get married it'd be... something. And I was always planning to take his name, but now that it's actually happening, I'm torn. I don't want to go through all the hassle of changing all my official stuff when nothing else is changing. No ceremony, no engagement, no real proposal even. Reality sucks, is the point here, I suppose. I know everyone says this, but I'm planning on only getting married once, and for it to happen with such little fanfare and in relative isolation and for such a mundane, practical reason... damnit. Just. Just damnit.

- I'm hormonal and I forgot to take my meds last night so my brain is a mushed up mess of profanity and nerves and I can't stop crying. Aasdlkfjpaoweijfasdlkfj-

I am sick and thus not only sleepy and uncomfortable, but also falling behind in my crafting schedule DAMNIT, and it's a month until my birthday, so... birthday wishlist to cheer me up. Yeah. ( Whee! )

Addendum to add Tommy Hawk and Pucky the Whale (and maybe also the Connecticut Whale), because HOSHIT MASCOTS YO.

You know that thing where fangirls get all excited and say that they're "shaking and crying"?

Yeah. Um.

SHAKING AND CRYING RIGHT NOW.

- Tried embroidering four different mouths onto the doll I'm crocheting and couldn't get any of them to turn out right. When I was pulling out the last one, I accidentally screwed up her nose. So, I had to pull that out too. Tried to redo it, but I couldn't get that to turn out either. She's still noseless and mouthless.

- Attempted for the third time to make a pendant with tags from NHL merch. This one was perfect except for the giant fucking bubble under the epoxy. I practiced specifically to avoid that, and it somehow still happened. That was my last tag, too. So. I don't know what to do there. Wait until I have the excess cash to buy another shirt, I guess.

- Attempted to make a TWEWY pin bracelet, but the glue I used bled into the decals and blurred/washed out the ink. Managed to salvage the bezel base, but I had to throw out all the decals and epoxy stickers.

- Had a panic attack. A really nasty one, too. I haven't had an attack in months. It was triggered by the stupidest thing - I had Lucky Charms for breakfast, and the combination of the sugar crash from that and a couple sips of coffee made me jittery. The jitters, in turn, convinced my brain I was dying. Racing heart, tingling extremities, heat flashes, derealization, the whole shebang. It was awful. I ended up wasting three hours in bed after it was over, just half-napping and trying to feel normal again.

- And now my phone is reminding me that I need three different meds every night just to reach "alive" every morning. Feeling pretty useless. I've been nauseous since last night, too, and I still feel mildly tingly and unsettled from earlier. Ugh. Today.

On the plus side, when I started crying, Benny was at my side in seconds. Dogs are pretty awesome.

TERAVAINEN IS A BLACKHAWK APDOIFHA;SLKDG;KLAWPEOFI ALL MY FEELS OH GOD

Also, this tumblr makes me think I should actually watch Teen Wolf. Damnit.

I'm stuck in my code for work. I can't figure it out. Neither can my advisor.

My step-sister is out of detox and living with her mom until a bed opens up in rehab. Her mom who told her if she breaks any of the rules now she'll have her dog put down. Supportive, no?

My mom has been on pain pills to cope with a degenerative disorder for years. Turns out she doesn't have that disorder after all - MRI revealed she has spinal stenosis, bad enough that it's pressing on her actual spinal cord and causing her nerve problems. She needs surgery to widen her spinal column and they'll have to fuse some vertebrae.

Ugh.

But! Upsides! Stuck on code means no work for the moment; so far, Hannah's going along with the plan to get her into rehab; after the surgery, my mom should be able to come off the pain pills and start regaining normal use of her hands again. Plus, the support on here and the response to my artsy junk picked me up, and I got The Nicest Comment Ever™ on one of my P4 fics from a writer I really respect. And my short haircut turned out awesome - pics later. And playing Catherine is super ridiculously fun. So... silver linings? Yay?

Haha, I am so tired. Maybe lunch will wake me.

I'm doing my best to make a $900 purchase from Amazon happen within the next two days. Wish me luck?

The fics I claimed at au_bigbang are amazing. They're both quite different from each other and both so very engaging. This'll be a fun one, guys. I have, oh, about a dozen ideas for things to draw. There's just too much goodness to pick from.

Work is phhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbt. Good thing SYTYCD is on tonight, Reefer Madness is downloaded and installed on my PS3, and Catherine comes out in less than two weeks. Yes, I am a consumer whore. Your point?

I'm thisclose to starting a Puckurt AU fic. I do not have the time for this, but... but...

Off to finish my beer and a presentation for tomorrow. In that order.

Mark Salling, you stop destroying my brain right this instant, young man!

... On the other hand, you make me feel less creepy than Chris Colfer does, so. Carry on!

My mood has been so up and down in the past two days. Jeez. I only want to mention one bit of the sad - RIP Ryan Dunn - and then focus on the happy, because damnit! Happy!

- I discovered an amazing blog over the weekend: Wave at the Bus. The 170 days are magical.

- Discovered another amazing blog as well: Mich L. in L.A.. I've already ordered one of her pieces, made my own versions of another (which I will post pictures of once I'm not sleepwalking through the day), and have plans to tackle yet one more. Good, good crafty blog.

- It wasn't enough that Nendoroid Snow Miku exists for me to pine after. No, they had to announce a Pullip version of her as well. Damn you, world!

- Any of you guys play Rockstar games? I'm eh on GTA but in love with L.A. Noire, and I'm wondering if Red Dead Redemption would be worth the investment.

- I'm torn between three different stories for my originalbigbang, all surreal, but in very different ways. Do I go with the humor, the horror, or the in-between?

Okay, backing up a bit to the sad. We're marathoning the Jackass movies. The golf cart sketch in the first one got a little uncomfortable, and I choked up during the butt x-ray, of all things, but still. We're on the second film, and I'm on my second beer. It only seems appropriate. To you, Mr. Dunn. You were right; it is cacti.