inquiry and bloodlust

So... what do you guys know about Alexandria, Virginia?

Need your faith in humanity restored? Knitting Behind Bars and Paws on Parole are here to help.

This is awesome. My biggest problem at the moment is deciding what game I should play: Bioshock, No More Heroes: Heroes' Paradise, or Brutal Legend. I could also go for more endings on Catherine, or do a fourth playthrough of Persona 4. Or a sixth playthrough of FFVIII. Or a... fifteenth playthrough of Symphony of the Night. Decisions, decisions.

I'm focusing on the games because after Thanksgiving my best friend from high school is coming to town and I'm both nervous and excited. Honestly, I'm equal parts horrified for her to see who I am now and psyched that I get to see her again. Video games are so much easier to think about.

Unless they're Killer7. That game is bananas.

I'm stuck in my code for work. I can't figure it out. Neither can my advisor.

My step-sister is out of detox and living with her mom until a bed opens up in rehab. Her mom who told her if she breaks any of the rules now she'll have her dog put down. Supportive, no?

My mom has been on pain pills to cope with a degenerative disorder for years. Turns out she doesn't have that disorder after all - MRI revealed she has spinal stenosis, bad enough that it's pressing on her actual spinal cord and causing her nerve problems. She needs surgery to widen her spinal column and they'll have to fuse some vertebrae.

Ugh.

But! Upsides! Stuck on code means no work for the moment; so far, Hannah's going along with the plan to get her into rehab; after the surgery, my mom should be able to come off the pain pills and start regaining normal use of her hands again. Plus, the support on here and the response to my artsy junk picked me up, and I got The Nicest Comment Ever™ on one of my P4 fics from a writer I really respect. And my short haircut turned out awesome - pics later. And playing Catherine is super ridiculously fun. So... silver linings? Yay?

Haha, I am so tired. Maybe lunch will wake me.

Oh my god, you guys, RuPaul's Drag Race is back! I kind of had a super-early favorite going into it, and now that I've seen the first episode? ( Spoilers for said episode! )

Mmm, and the stubbly new pit crew member? Mmmmm. Approved.

Not approved, however, is this (HORRIFICALLY SPOILERY FOR FFXIII) FFXIII-2 trailer. The fact that there's going to be a sequel at all pisses me off, as XIII was a complete story. It didn't need elaboration. It especially didn't need elaboration in this particular form. One of the things I loved about the first game was the delicate balance it struck between celebrating and deconstructing RPG conventions. This trailer portrays the sequel as some very... standard anime/JRPG woman warrior thing. I don't know. There's no guarantee that the game won't be fantastic (though I'm doubtful since, as I said before, XIII was a complete story in and of itself), but the way they're choosing to introduce it makes me uncomfortable. Why you do this to me, Squenix?

I've been boosting my wardrobe pretty heavily lately, including many additions from Threadless, the most recent of which arrived today along with this sticker sheet:

I couldn't find this particular set scanned anywhere and I figured someone else might be interested in seeing it. For the curious, the shirts referenced are, left to right, bottom to top: Case Study #48: Bunny Family Anomalies, God Hates Techno, Cookie Loves Milk (which I own :D), Funkalicious, Runnin' Rhino, and Peace.

Now if I can just get to a Zara and manage to find this Kurt hat, I may explode with style-y happiness!

Phbt phbt phbt phbt phbt phbt phbt.

Waiting for stuff in the lab. Got another hour to go. I want to go home and sleeeeep. Well, watch Modern Family and then sleep. Yes.

On a happier note, I was a total dork and signed up for kurt_disney with a vague idea of what I wanted to write, and then boom. The ideas all coalesced in my head into something that has the potential to be awesome. I'm really excited about it now. Of course, I just had to go and do this during what may be my busiest term of grad school. Maybe that's a good thing, though. Force me to give myself rec time. Hm.

And then on an anxious note, I get the worst buyer's remorse over stupid things. Like, I need facial lotion. My skin is touchy and I've decided that a Lush purchase would be the best fit. So, I throw a couple other things in. And then I waffle. For hours. For literal weeks. And after I've decided it's not wrong to spend some money on myself (even if it is like $90 for 5 items, which is sooooo egocentric in my head) and I hit submit (less than half an hour ago, after first putting this order together in December), I'm wracked with guilt. How could I do that? That money could've gone to... something... abstract... that I have no idea about... but how could I? This happens with everything I buy that costs more than $5. Hell, I wibble about spending less than $5 sometimes. Bag of scraps at the thrift store that's $1.99 instead of the usual 99¢? Complete meltdown. Not kidding - that's a true example. Not sure how to deal with this little corner of my psychoses. The panic attacks are (knock on wood) pretty much under control and the general anxiety has greatly lessened, though the depression is untouched by my medication and is only handled via what I've learned in therapy, but I still have these little tics that cripple me at odd moments. Like this spending money thing, or the way I sometimes synchronize my breathing to what I'm doing and/or repeat motions and I can't stop until it feels right, or how the volume on the TV has to be set to an even number or else my shoulders will itch.

Man, I did not intend this entry to be about my mental quirks. Guess that's what happens when you're over-caffeinated and under-rested and stuck in the lab after dark. 43 more minutes to go. Hm hm hm.

Ohhh, and one of the guys upstairs called me out on my lack of social skills today. I laughed it off, and he meant it in a humorous way and not a scolding one, but I could feel my face getting red as soon as he left and I was all shaky the next time I stood up. I wish I didn't replay scenarios in my head and think about what I could have done better. I wish I could let things go.

Neat little meme, yoinked from bedlam_nonsense: ( an alphabet of categories ).

So say there's this girl who isn't feeling great. She was feeling kind of crummy last night, and it returned today. It's nothing too serious, she tells me, maybe just allergies. A cold or flu at the most. Unfortunately for her, she has an exam tomorrow as well as a long meeting, and then another meeting on Thursday. What she'd really like to do is sleep and hope this goes away soon, but she's torn due to her responsibilities. What do you think she should do? Should she attend the exam and then skip the meeting tomorrow, push through both, or e-mail her profs about taking the exam at a later date and just sleep the day away? The meeting on Thursday is really important, and making it to that is her biggest priority. What's the best course of action to balance her wants, her responsibilities, and her health?

I know where I stand on this, but I figured it couldn't hurt to get some other opinions in the mix.

I come from Caltech, the land of "They don't take attendance - just get someone else to turn in your set for you and you're good," so I'm not sure how this stuff works in reasonable places and with grad students. But. What's the standard policy for missing class? How much advance notice do you give? Is it totally unreasonable to want to take three days off (not now, obviously, but about seven months from now) to go to a crazy awesome convention? Actually, looking at flight possibilities again, it would only be two days - the Friday and Monday surrounding a weekend. Is that a completely boneheaded thing to want, or am I entitled to a bit of personal indulgence? Augh, the conscience! It weighs!

Sitting here in the food court by the student union, as it has wireless for UF students. The only place open is the Starbucks, which is fine by me, as I'm not looking to eat right now, and which was playing Elliott Smith when I walked in. That's got to be a good sign, right? Anyway, Jaime's orientation stuff started... approximately one minute ago, while mine doesn't begin until 11:30, so I've got some time to kill. Hooray for wireless, yeah? Now I just have to hope I can find the Brain Institute without too much hassle when the time comes. And that I don't scare off the other students a.k.a. my potential social pool. No awkwardness today, no sir! No sir. No... sir...

Meep.

Edit (9:06am): And now they're playing Van Morrison. Pfft. Yeah, everything will be fine.